Month 1 / I'm Really Behind in Blogging

By the end of week 2 of my 40 in 4 plan, I lost 7 pounds!  I put in lots of time weight lifting and felt strong and pretty proud of myself.  However, I do this thing where I get in the way of my own progress my making excuses and then validating them.  Below are the many ways I validate my poor choices.

If we fast forward a week to the end of week 3, I did not weigh myself.  I was in Seattle for derby from Thursday through Monday and I'll be honest, traveling for derby, is not conducive to weight loss goals.  You'd think it would be since we played three games.  But eating in preparation for a bout while traveling usually means I'm eating more food than usual, eating more wheat and grains than usual, and having much less control over what foods are available.  

When we travel, we go as a team.  This is awesome in lots of ways-- it makes for lots of giggles, good times, and team bonding away from the track.  It also means that you get very little say in where we go and what we do.  (Not really a bad thing as long as you're okay with going with the flow.)  This means I eat as I find food I want, and I stretch what I allow myself to eat.

We got into Seattle late Thursday night.  Our first bout wasn't until Saturday, so we had all Friday to play!  We went down to Pike's Place Market, which is really just awesome to walk around, with crafts, street performers, tons of the prettiest flowers, fish throwing, and for real, the best tasting fruit I have ever had.  I bought several pears that don't look very good, but are just awesome, rainier cherries (I mean they're from right there), and some dried strawberries that taste like fruit leather.  Up the street we also found a gourmet popcorn shop with amazing flavors like salted caramel and hot wings and blue cheese.  While I was able to convince myself to steer clear of the Smores flavored popcorn, I had to buy the hot wings and blue cheese one. I tried to do good and just buy a small bag, but it was so tasty, I went the back the next day to get more.

Flowers from the market

While I didn't eat too badly in Seattle, I also couldn't say that I ate good.  Meals included super tasty vegan mac and cheese, late night spaghetti, and Benihana's   And Monday consisted of being ready to leave for the airport by 4am for our 6am flight.  A four hour flight with no food.  Rushing to the gate of the next three hour flight.  Getting home and scarfing down food only to go to our recruitment night practice where I felt like a zombie and was told I spent part of the time scrimmaging with only one eye open.  (Needless to say, I was fairly worthless in the scrimmage.)  Another skater said I deserved a treat for coming to practice.  So, of course I had to agree with her.  (Wendy's just came out with a strawberry shortcake frosty.)  We also had a friend staying with us who got a pretty bad concussion over the weekend, so Candy was helping to take care of her.  Well, she brought cookies.  (And with our friend not feeling good, I felt like I could eat some cookies for her.) 

Benihana's

For real, this is how my brain works.  It is so ridiculous because I am able to rationalize every bad decision I make.  (I do this in derby too (and the rest of my life) and have been told I need to stop.  But it's hard to stop when you do this all the time.  For example, in the Oly game, I went to the box for a major blocking out of play.  BUT, it was for hitting Psycho Babble as she was trying to jump the apex and I actually knocked her down, so in my head, it was totally worth the minute in the box.)

After being home for a few days, getting caught up on sleep, and being able to function like a human being again, I got back on track.  I began working out more, and actually utilizing my personal training sessions I've paid for.  My mom had someone come teach us how to make several raw foods that are so delicious.  We made cashew hummus, guacamole, onion bread and, chocolate pie.  All raw, all good for you.  And then she came back the next week, teaching us to make pineapple-cucumber gazpacho, raw key lime pie, and raw pizza. 

Cashew hummus and greens on onion bread, with raw chocolate pie

pineapple-cucumber gazpacho 

Overall, I hadn't been doing too badly, but then Candy went out of town for a week.  It's awesome for her--she's helping to teach roller derby bootcamps in Canada.  For me, it means a week by myself, which I haven't had in a Long time.  I'll be honest, I haven't really known what to do with myself.  I've been sleepy for no reason and unmotivated and this somehow equals me able to convince myself that I don't need to eat well.

Honestly, I sometimes drive myself crazy with all my excuses and validations.  It does however show me how much of an addiction food, or sugary, crappy, not-whole food, really is.  I need to be really solidly back on track.  I have several motivations for this, including being a better derby player, looking better in my wedding/commitment ceremony dress in December (which I bought last week and am totally in love with), and I want to become a personal trainer but feel I need to be in better shape before I do so, though I need some short term goals to help me with this as well.  Any ideas?

Just to be the Next to be With You

Roller Derby is one of the hardest things I have ever done.  The ups and downs of derby can be draining and rewarding, both physically and mentally.  (Sometimes, I have to take a step back and remind myself that my self-esteem (or lack thereof) is not and should not be contingent on how I am doing in derby.)

In the last year, my partner and I set of on a new adventure together and moved down to Tampa.  I am lucky enough to have made the all-star team, the Tampa Tantrums.  In my brief time on it, I have been reminded repeatedly why I am totally in love with my new team and so, I wanted to share some of the things that have happened.

1.  The Clover Cup in Dallas held a lot of firsts for me.  It was my first time playing roller derby on a big level, my first tournament, my first time as a full WFTDA skater, my first time playing a team as big as Houston, or even Omaha for that matter, and it was my first time playing as a Tampa Tantrum.  And overall, it was a pretty awesome first experience. 

Warming up for the game against Houston, I think I had a big stupid grin across my face the entire time because I was so frickin excited to play them (because of all those firsts).  And scared.  Mainly I think I was scared.  We started the game short two main blockers, one of whom had to fly home for work, another who was injured in a previous game and ended up needing to go to the hospital.

A few jams in, it was starting to look like it was going to be a good game.  But then one by one, our jammers got injured.  We started the bout with 3 jammers.  By the end of the first period, we had one.  Every time a jammer was got hurt, we had to switch around our line ups, turning blockers into jammers.  After our third jammer was taken off on a stretcher in the 2nd period, when our team was down to 10 players, we huddled together to figure out who would be jamming.

Here's the amazing thing...everyone pulled together.  Everyone stayed positive.  And everyone worked as a team, even though we lost by over 100 points. It's struggles like this that build a team.  And this was the moment I first realized how amazing my team really is.

2.  In our recent bout against the Atlanta Rollegirls, our pivot was putting her panty on.  The cover hit her in the eye and flipped her contact out.  The contact was somehow found, but by that point it had been rolled over and was split in half.  Another skater promptly took a contact out of her own eye to give it to our pivot.  That is some serious derby love.

3.  We, as a team, have recently begun singing together.  In Bella Trixx's words, "I didn't know I signed up for Roller Glee."  Well, she did. And personally, I think it is the best thing ever.  We have a few main songs in our repertoire (though our playlist is growing all the time), with the first (and my favorite) being To Be With You by Mr. Big.  We actually used it as our skate out song when we played Oly last week.  (Um, yeah, I said when we played OLY.  Remember above in #1 when I said Houston was the highest ranking team I had played.  Since then I have also played high ranking teams such as Naptown, Nashville, Rat City, and Oly!  Totally amazing.  And none of which I would have imagined a year ago.  I mean, when Oly began their cheer of Oly! Oly! Oly! Oi!Oi!Oi!, I almost started to cheer along with the 'Oi's' because, well, every other time I have seen them has been as an awestruck fan.)

In our bout against Jet City, one of our skaters was hit in the face hard enough that she got a really intense concussion.  While she was laying on the floor, waiting on the paramedics, she was slurring her words and fading in and out of consciousness.  She requested that we sing.  So we did.  We stood and serenaded her with To Be With You.  During our song was the first time she was able and actually trying to stay awake and conscious.

I love that my team comes together during these moments, the times when things are about as crappy as they can get.  It makes me proud to say that I am a Tampa Tantrum.  And lets me know that my lows of derby are worth it because I get to be a member of an amazing team where the highs are so much better.

P.S.  I feel like I can't really leave this out.  We have recently begun to wear fancy pants.  I mean, really, who doesn't love them some fancy pants?!