Month 1 / I'm Really Behind in Blogging

By the end of week 2 of my 40 in 4 plan, I lost 7 pounds!  I put in lots of time weight lifting and felt strong and pretty proud of myself.  However, I do this thing where I get in the way of my own progress my making excuses and then validating them.  Below are the many ways I validate my poor choices.

If we fast forward a week to the end of week 3, I did not weigh myself.  I was in Seattle for derby from Thursday through Monday and I'll be honest, traveling for derby, is not conducive to weight loss goals.  You'd think it would be since we played three games.  But eating in preparation for a bout while traveling usually means I'm eating more food than usual, eating more wheat and grains than usual, and having much less control over what foods are available.  

When we travel, we go as a team.  This is awesome in lots of ways-- it makes for lots of giggles, good times, and team bonding away from the track.  It also means that you get very little say in where we go and what we do.  (Not really a bad thing as long as you're okay with going with the flow.)  This means I eat as I find food I want, and I stretch what I allow myself to eat.

We got into Seattle late Thursday night.  Our first bout wasn't until Saturday, so we had all Friday to play!  We went down to Pike's Place Market, which is really just awesome to walk around, with crafts, street performers, tons of the prettiest flowers, fish throwing, and for real, the best tasting fruit I have ever had.  I bought several pears that don't look very good, but are just awesome, rainier cherries (I mean they're from right there), and some dried strawberries that taste like fruit leather.  Up the street we also found a gourmet popcorn shop with amazing flavors like salted caramel and hot wings and blue cheese.  While I was able to convince myself to steer clear of the Smores flavored popcorn, I had to buy the hot wings and blue cheese one. I tried to do good and just buy a small bag, but it was so tasty, I went the back the next day to get more.

Flowers from the market

While I didn't eat too badly in Seattle, I also couldn't say that I ate good.  Meals included super tasty vegan mac and cheese, late night spaghetti, and Benihana's   And Monday consisted of being ready to leave for the airport by 4am for our 6am flight.  A four hour flight with no food.  Rushing to the gate of the next three hour flight.  Getting home and scarfing down food only to go to our recruitment night practice where I felt like a zombie and was told I spent part of the time scrimmaging with only one eye open.  (Needless to say, I was fairly worthless in the scrimmage.)  Another skater said I deserved a treat for coming to practice.  So, of course I had to agree with her.  (Wendy's just came out with a strawberry shortcake frosty.)  We also had a friend staying with us who got a pretty bad concussion over the weekend, so Candy was helping to take care of her.  Well, she brought cookies.  (And with our friend not feeling good, I felt like I could eat some cookies for her.) 

Benihana's

For real, this is how my brain works.  It is so ridiculous because I am able to rationalize every bad decision I make.  (I do this in derby too (and the rest of my life) and have been told I need to stop.  But it's hard to stop when you do this all the time.  For example, in the Oly game, I went to the box for a major blocking out of play.  BUT, it was for hitting Psycho Babble as she was trying to jump the apex and I actually knocked her down, so in my head, it was totally worth the minute in the box.)

After being home for a few days, getting caught up on sleep, and being able to function like a human being again, I got back on track.  I began working out more, and actually utilizing my personal training sessions I've paid for.  My mom had someone come teach us how to make several raw foods that are so delicious.  We made cashew hummus, guacamole, onion bread and, chocolate pie.  All raw, all good for you.  And then she came back the next week, teaching us to make pineapple-cucumber gazpacho, raw key lime pie, and raw pizza. 

Cashew hummus and greens on onion bread, with raw chocolate pie

pineapple-cucumber gazpacho 

Overall, I hadn't been doing too badly, but then Candy went out of town for a week.  It's awesome for her--she's helping to teach roller derby bootcamps in Canada.  For me, it means a week by myself, which I haven't had in a Long time.  I'll be honest, I haven't really known what to do with myself.  I've been sleepy for no reason and unmotivated and this somehow equals me able to convince myself that I don't need to eat well.

Honestly, I sometimes drive myself crazy with all my excuses and validations.  It does however show me how much of an addiction food, or sugary, crappy, not-whole food, really is.  I need to be really solidly back on track.  I have several motivations for this, including being a better derby player, looking better in my wedding/commitment ceremony dress in December (which I bought last week and am totally in love with), and I want to become a personal trainer but feel I need to be in better shape before I do so, though I need some short term goals to help me with this as well.  Any ideas?