Notes From the Gym

Let's be honest, when you are an overweight girl, the gym is not a friendly place.  In fact, it can be downright scary.  When I first began working out, I was lucky enough to go to The Fire, a very small gym that only had small group and personal training, with trainers who kicked my ass, helped me get in shape while inspiring me with tough love, and who helped me learn my way around a gym so I could work-out on my own.

I miss it and I miss my trainers.  Tremendously.  I have tried to recreate a smidgen of what I had, but it hasn't really worked out so well, and I've gotten to a point where I've realized I need to take on that role of trainer for myself.

The gym I go to now is huge, as in it used to be a grocery store and is the biggest of it's kind to date.  Most people who work out there are in crazy-good shape--huge muscley guys, and women who wear those teensy short shorts, that are the size of Derby Skinz, but you know, with no tights underneath.  Needless to say, this makes for some really interesting people watching.

My favorite are the girls (who usually come in pairs) who you can tell don't really workout in a gym, ever.  They are skinny and lacking muscle and I notice them because they wear outfits that amuse me (such as pants with Victoria's Secret's PINK bedazzled across their ass) and then spend the majority of time walking around giggling, while not really doing much in terms of working out.  And when they do pick up weights, they don't actually weigh much, and they usually just do a few reps before returning to walking around and giggling again.

Don't these just scream, "I'm ready to workout and sweat my ass off?"

It sounds funny, but I like seeing other overweight women (and men) there.  I always cheer silently for them (in my head).  I've also noticed that they are usually found on cardio machines, and not on weight machines or in the free weights.  It makes me want to show them how to use them, because once you know how, they are not so intimidating. Well, the free weight area is still a little intimidating to me, but I push past my fears and insecurities because free weights for arms give me a Much better workout than machines. 

There are also people at my gym who inspire me.  There is a girl I have seen from time to time who basically has the body I want.  She's not tiny, but she's fit and she's strong, with awesome muscle in her legs.  Then there's the muscley, in-shape guy in his late 40s/early 50s who I see almost every time I go, who is missing a leg.  It doesn't seem to hinder him or his workout.  He's pretty much a poster child to me, screaming in my head 'If I can do it, why can't you?!'  So, in answer to that question, I think it means I'm headed to the gym now.

Week 1

So, I'm a week into my 40 in 4 plan, and overall I've been doing pretty good.  I lost about 3 pounds, I've followed through every day on eating clean, weight trained 5 days this week and gotten in some form of cardio 5 days as well. 

Honestly, I was hoping to lose more.  In the past, Week 1 has always been the biggest in terms of weight loss.  Though I have also had some stressors this week that I think are partially responsible for this, including an ER visit for my partner, and me being really down on myself in derby. 

With that being said, some good things came from the week as well.  My mom and I went out to lunch at a place called Leafy Greens Cafe, a vegan, raw foods restaurant.  My mom had gone the week before and couldn't stop talking about how good it was, claiming how the 'pizza' with walnut and hemp seed crust topped with cashew hummus really tasted like pizza .  I was skeptical.  I've never really had much raw food.  But we went, and I got to try several things, including both soups, the pizza, and a hummus and greens sandwich on onion 'bread'.  Everything was delicious!  I couldn't believe that none of this was actually cooked.  The pineapple-cucumber gazpacho could have been dessert.  The 'pizza' somehow actually tasted like pizza!  The texture was not the same, but the taste was.  And the onion 'bread' was not actually bread at all, more like dehydrated onions and other stuff shaped like a wrap.  We also had kale chips on the side, which were the tastiest kale chips I have ever had.

Raw pizza with cashew hummus and a walnut and hemp seed crust

My mom loved the food so much that she hired a lady who works there to come and teach us how to make some of these items tomorrow, including the onion 'bread.'  I can't wait!

We also decided to make some kale chips on our own.  They were ridiculously easy to make and turned out delicious.  Basically you take kale and get rid of the stalks, add a tablespoon of olive oil, 2 tablespoons of braggs or some other soy sauce alternative, a sprinkle of garlic salt, and mix it around until each bit of the kale has a nice covering, add a shit-ton of nutritional yeast, and then put it in a dehydrator for a few hours.  I'm not much of a cook, so I was really quite proud of myself for making these, and having them turn out so tasty. 

I'm leaving for Seattle in about a week to play Rat City!, Oly Rollers!, and Jet City.  Leading up to my flight, I have derby practice 6 out of the 8 days.  I'm planning to get in at least 2 leg workouts without making any part of my legs too sore to skate effectively.  (This can be hard for me since my legs are my favorite body part to work out, because they are strong, kinda man-strong, and therefore really fun to workout and push to my limits.  Unfortunately, pushing my limits also means that awesome post-workout soreness, which can hinder my skating.)  I'd also like to lose a few more pounds and move down into the next group of tens on the scale.  But honestly, I would settle for looking just a wee bit better in pictures of me in my unforgiving uniform.

40 in 4

I've gotten to a point where I am, once again, unhappy with myself.  Since last September, I have gained 30 pounds.  And while I have plenty of justifications for how and why it happened, it grosses me out, and pisses me off.  So now, I have to do something about it.

So, I am committed.  I am going to lose 40 pounds in the next 4 months.  And here's how:
I am cutting out refined sugars, dairy, and most grains unless they are whole and brown.
I am replacing two meals a day with protein shakes.
I am lifting weights at least 5 days a week.
I am getting in cardio every day, either in the form of derby practice or on my own.
I am reading Think and Grow Thin by Charles D'Angelo and putting these things into practice.
I am remembering that I am more than my weight.

So, here I am...Day 1 and I am committed.